Written by Guest Blogger Karen McMahon
When I look back on last year, I can say that I have grown tremendously in my awareness and behavior around my relationship. It has been anything but easy. I have been upset, confused, frustrated, angry and broken hearted. I have experienced both love and loneliness, faith and insecurity, self-doubt, complete certainty; deep joy and great sadness.
I am actually floored at some of the realizations that I have had recently that a year ago I was blind to. My struggle and pain has brought me to a healthier place. I know more now what I want, need and deserve in a relationship. I am a stronger, healthier woman for my hardships. I see what I have feared and been willing to settle for. All that said, the relationship I have has been significantly healthier than any that came before it.
It is through facing our challenges with integrity and personal responsibility that we continue grow. It often does not feel good when we are learning our greatest life lessons. In fact, it is so hard sometimes that we just want to go to sleep or stick our head in the sand. Sometimes that is exactly what we do for a while until we are strong enough to face the lesson. The interesting thing is that the lesson does not go away until it is learned.
A few years ago I would have blamed my partner in the relationship for much of my upset and sadness. Today, I see clearly my part in all of it.
There is something enormously liberating and empowering in taking responsibility for your part in your circumstances. It tosses aside the possibility that you are a victim and empowers you to change, if you choose to, in order to create a healthier better future.
I know that many of you have suffered pain and loss this past year. Like a snake, we begin to crawl out of our old skins, morning the loss of the familiar, but not always comfortable. Sometimes we don’t want to leave and even crawl back into the rotting skin for a while. That’s okay too. We are each exactly where we are supposed to be. Struggling and resisting, learning and growing at our own pace.
But when we are ready to leave our old skin behind, the fresh exhilaration of our new skin and all the possibilities that lie with it are there for us to embrace.