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Published in Bustle.com with expert comments from Rosalind Sedacca. CLC

 

https://www.bustle.com/articles/155731-8-things-you-should-always-expect-in-a-relationship-according-to-experts

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You have to think of dating as a numbers game.  The more men you meet and go out with, the closer you will get to the guy that is truly someone special.  If you think of it that way, you will not get disillusioned or frustrated that “all the good men are taken.”

It also gives you the hope and incentive to keep dating because the next guy you meet could be “the one.” So, after 10 dates with 10 different guys, you start feeling that it’s never going to happen for you, just know that the 11th guy may be just the guy you were looking for.

Here are some tips to help you stay hopeful while dating:

  1. Realize that any guy you meet can be a potential life partner. So, be open-minded, flexible and don’t pass judgment until you know him a little better.
  1. Step out of your comfort zone and pick guys who you ordinarily wouldn’t date, maybe someone heavier, shorter, less educated or even of a different faith, because you never know, he may possess other qualities which override these differences.
  1. Approach dating with a fun attitude. Be happy, pleasant, enjoy yourself and if nothing else, you had a nice evening out.
  1. First impressions are not always right. Some guys are nervous and will act like jerks on a first date. Give your date a few tries before deciding he’s not right for you, because he just may have first-date jitters – and actually be a nice guy.
  1. You have nothing to lose but your time when you date. So if you meet a new guy for a drink, think of it as two hours out of your day with someone you may or may not be interested in. If you were interested in him, then it was time well spent.  If you weren’t, then you lost some precious time, but you won’t know this unless you try.

Here’s the bottom line…dating is your only way of finding Mr. Right.  So, go out with a good attitude and consider each date as a potential candidate for a long-term relationship.  After all, maybe #20 is going to be “The One for You.”

Amy Sherman is a Dating & Relationship Coach and co-author of “99 Things Women Wish They Knew Before Dating After 40, 50 and Yes, 60!”  Contact for Free Coaching Call amybethsherman@gmail.com

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Here are some significant suggestions to avoid immature dating habits​ destined to fail​.

1. Using flirting techniques: Dating is about getting to know an authentic person as a potential partner. Flirting may temporarily attract someone’s interest but if that’s not part of your personality, you’ve wasted your time and your date’s time. Be yourself!

2. Dating rules and games: Waiting a number of days before calling or asking for another date, turning down dates to appear more popular, having sex on the third date or following other absurd rules smacks of immaturity and insecurity. Life doesn’t have a rule boo​k, neither should successful dating.

3. Expecting your partner to change your life, help you, “fix” you, be the hero in your life. No one can do that for you but you. Looking for a knight in white armor is an unrealistic expectation doomed to failure and disappointment.

​Rosalind Sedacca is a Dating & Relationship Mentor, co-author of 99 Things Women Wish They Knew Before Dating After 40, 50 & Yes, 60! and co-creator of the DatingRescue eCourse for women and Mastering the Challenges of Dating: A Success Formula for Men. ​Learn more at: ​www.womendatingafter40.com​, http://www.womendatingrescue.com​ ​and ​​www.mensdatingformula.com

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Listen to Rosalind Sedacca’s interview on Family Matters with Dr. Virginia Collin on Dating After Divorce With Children.

http://cdn.voiceamerica.com/voice/011480/colin102715.mp3

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Women have affairs because they are unhappy in their relationship but don’t have the courage to make a dramatic life change. They may have children and don’t want to rock the boat at home. They may be financially secure in their marriage and don’t want to lose that security base. They may be fearful about ending their relationship and find it safer to maintain the present facade and sneak out for emotional and physical fulfillment. This is always a risky business that can lead to dire consequences if the affair is discovered, but women take the chance because they can’t see another option available to them. I encourage these women to consider the consequences before moving ahead with an affair. Is this really the best option for you? Or should you choose to step out of your current relationship and make the commitment to move on with your life as an expression of your personal power and heightened self-esteem? Therapists, relationship coaches, online programs and other resources are available to support women in making better decisions for themselves and their children.

​Rosalind Sedacca, CCT is a Dating In Mid-Life Mentor and author of 99 Things Women Wish They Knew Before Dating After 40, 50 & Yes, 60! as well as several other dating and relationship courses and programs. ​She’s also a Divorce & Parenting Coach and founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network.​ Follow her at http://www.womendataingafter40.com and http://www.childcentereddivorce.com.​

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Coach Steve Toth, host of the Mind Body and Soul-TV, has a conscious dialogue with Rosalind Sedacca and Amy Sherman on how to have a Child-Centered Divorce and move ahead to successful dating after divorce. Watch here!

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1. Make sure you like kids, especially theirs.

2. Trust your partner to lead, direct and initiate all contact.

3. Don’t overstep your bounds. You’re a family guest, not a parent.

4. Never discipline your partner’s children. That’s their place.

5. Use eye contact, smiles and warmth in your communication with the kids.

6. Ask questions, listen well and provide thoughtful answers.

7. Include the children when talking to your partner.

8. Don’t use bribery as a way to get accepted. It never works long-term.

9. Don’t make your partner choose between you and their kids.

10. Find ways of discussing the kids with your partner without being critical or disrespectful.

11. If you can’t see yourself loving those children, don’t commit to that relationship.

Rosalind Sedacca is a Dating & Relationship Coach as well as a Divorce & Parenting Coach and Funder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network. I’m the co-author of 99 Things Women Wish They Knew Before Dating After 40, 50 & Yes, 60! I’m co-creator of the DatingRescue eCourse for women and Mastering the Challenges of Dating: A Success Formula for Men. I’m also author of How Do I Tell the Kids About the Divorce? and co-host of The Divorce View Talk Show and podcast.

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